With each second division section being made up of ten teams, we were facing our last game in unknown territory against Mladost Univerzal Lux Lukicevo. Their song went: “And it’s Mladost Univerzal Lux Lukicevo, Mladost Univerzal Lux Lukicevo F C, it’s by far the hardest name, to ever fucking chant!”

Everyone hoped we wouldn’t see another draw, and Novi Sad bossed the first half, putting the defence under real pressure. When Janker’s cross found Boggy the Elder in the box in the 45th minute, the chip was going nowhere but in the back of the net. A 1-0 lead was less than we deserved, but it was good enough. The second half saw a different Mladost Lux team run out. Their attacking heads were well and truly screwed on, and only two deflections off the woodwork saw Novi Sad retain the lead. However, in the 64th minute the pressure told, and Zdrnja grabbed an equaliser. Boris responded by switching to more attacking formation, trying to fight fire with fire. A 4-2-4 tactic saw Horvat, Darko, Ilijah and Boggy the Elder up front. It was shit or bust time. The chaos was unbelievable as both teams adopted the same approach, and in the 92nd minute when Peasant, who came on as a sub, managed to knock the ball away from a forward who was, at the time, going nowhere, he somehow tapped it straight in the path of Zdrnja, who made it 2-1 to Mladost Lux.

The inevitable had happened. We were stunned – not that we lost, but that it had taken so long for it to happen. Boggy the Elder got Man of the Match, but I figured he’d still get a kicking when he got back to town. Bezanji lost, so we stayed top of the league, but with a quarter of the season gone, we were looking more fragile than a glass hammer. The clouds rolled in, and Novi Sad players, staff and supporters knew how lucky we had been. None of wins had been that convincing; none of the draws that unlucky, but ironically it was a bitter twist to finally lose a game we should have walked away with.

There was a two week gap before the game against Vrbas. Novi Sad had opened the season with a 2-2 draw against them at home, and so the away fixture was not being looked at in a positive light. The new look back line of The backside, Ninko the Kid, Alex and Terminal Disease got its first outing. Ninko had a good match, pushing forward at every opportunity, and on the 15th minute he picked up a wide ball, carried it to the halfway line and released Darko. He put in a pinpoint cross to Boggy the Elder to open the scoring. In the 25th minute, The Turd was pushed in the box, and put away the resulting penalty. In injury time at the end of the first half, a defensive cock-up saw Vrbas break, and after Boogy the Younger parried an initial shot from Rasic, the ball fell back to him to put it in the far corner. Going in at 2-1 up wasn’t too bad, although Novi Sad had dominated, and midway through the second half, The Turd stepped up for the second penalty of the game after Boggy the Elder was brought down. The penalty was saved, but The Turd latched onto the rebound and buried it. In the 82nd minute, a back pass saw Boggy the Younger travel an unfeasible distance out of the box to pick the ball up. He actually should have caught a taxi, it was that far. Divljak couldn’t believe his luck, intercepted the ball and rolled it into an empty net.

Whilst 3-2 was obviously a good result, both Vrbas goals came from Novi Sad cock-ups, and the feeling toward Boggy the Younger was obvious as he clambered into the mini-bus, the other players and coaching staff spitting on him and snarling. He had hit the wall, he wouldn’t be going much further.

The next game, a home match against Radnicki Novi Beograd, was one to look forward to. We had beaten them both in the cup and the league away from home. I filled the programme with a load of photos of the celebrations after both games. It saved writing anything, and meant I had more time to try and chat up Angel. Things were bad; I needed some perverted action soon, or I might start attacking the local horses!

Novi Sad dominated the match, with a capital D! Two goals from Boggy the Elder in the first and sixth minute indicated a rout was on its way, but a 29th minute penalty from The Turd was the last shot on target. 3-0 was a respectable score, but it could have been 10-0 in all reality. The interesting point from the game was that crackerjack was sent back to the reserves, with Slavisa Krstic (Krusty) being brought in as substitute goalkeeper. He even got 15 minutes at the end of the match. Boris was obviously considering Boggy the Younger’s future. Another new face from the reserves was Vladamir Milicevic (Fatty), although he didn’t impress much.

After the game, news came through that Bezanija’s Milan Cvetanovski (Cretin) had signed for Novi Sad, and would be joining in the transfer window that opened on 15 December.


NB. As I said before, this is not my own work. It is Vic Flange’s. The original work can be found on TheDugout, right here. TheDugout is dying, so I’m rescuing the story and giving it the attention it deserves.

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Guido is the founding father of Strikerless and main nutjob running the show.


Guido is the founding father of Strikerless and main nutjob running the show.


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